HOME

Home. I think I've finally achieved it. I think one of the hardest parts of this last break-up (major one) was that I lost that sense of home because the family aspect was gone. No little footsteps running around, no having to beg him to wake up to eat Sunday breakfast, no complaining about laundry on the bathroom floor. After the split I moved all my crap into my friends place. Sure, there was all the material things that made up that previous said home...the decorations, pictures, furniture...but it just didn't feel like home.

After about six months of that I actually moved "home". Back in with my Mom. I even had my own room and got to fill it with my own stuff whereas before, all my stuff was in storage and I was pretty much a guest. Sure I was home and I loved the opportunities I got by living there. I travelled a ton this summer. I gained some experiences that I'll NEVER forget. Seeing Kings of Leon live(!!!!!!), watching a baseball game in one of the most gorgeous tunderstorms/staduims ever, getting lost in the state of Colorado because we were too drunk to use our GPS, staying in a disgusting hotel in Vegas, eating breakfast on the beach, met some guys that will forever remain in my heart, I could go on for days. But at the end of the day, it still just wasn't home.

So, I lived somewhere having all my possessions and it didn't feel like home. I moved to the actual place I consider home, didn't feel like home. What's a girl to do? I got a place of my own, had that someone to fall asleep next to almost every night, cook dinner for, cuddle up next to on the couch, but what do you know?! Still didn't feel like home. You know why? Because it wasn't love. That someone has now been out of the picture for almost a month. I knew going in that it would be nothing, just something out of convienience. Does it make it better? No. Do I still think about him? Of course. Do I still wake up and check my phone praying that he's text or called me? Sure. But I think that's a part of being human. It's given me time to re-set my priorities, have some alone time, and make my place my own.

I wrapped presents the other night while having to stop and entertain Sailor by throwing his ball that he kept "accidentally" dropping off the bed. After placing all the presents under the tree I took a look around and realized for the first time, I'm home! I don't know if it was because of Christams or because I got to cook my traditional breakfast for not a man but my best friend Candace last weekend or having company all weekend but I finally feel at home after over a year and you know what?! It's about time and I'm SO happy!!

What I can't quit listening to

Maybe it's my sudden obsession with Twilight since I've been re-reading the books and watching the first movie like it's the only DVD that works in my DVD player, but I can't stop listening to this song by Robert Pattinson AKA Edward AKA fantasy o' matic. His voice is dreamy and makes him even more b-e-a-utiful. Sigh.



Also, if I don't get this album for Christmas, I'll be purchasing it from I-tunes on my new laptop. ;P Hailey Williams' voice is amazing.







And one more. I found this band while listening to The Dear Hunter radio on Pandora. I love this song.

Look at this fu$*#&g hipster...

This is my "little beeb sees" and she is one of the funniest girls I know. Love you Ky Ky!

Me: God. I just want to live in Forks and pretend Edward will find me ok?!

Kylee: Well you can live there. Thats step 1

Me: What's step 2?

Kylee: Bite your lip alot.

Me: Hahahahahahaa!

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Me: That Jesus is creepy. He's HUGE!

Kylee: Jesus is larger than life, ok?!

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Sooooooooooo.....

.....as all 5 of you that follow this can see, I haven't blogged in quite some time. Part of that is the fact that I don't own a computer. Another part is, well, I'm just not that interesting. And another is that I don't have a camera to document all that un-interestingness. Is that even a word? Well I decided last night that since I plan on buying a camera in the very near future and heard it through the grapevine that Santa is bringing me a laptop for Christmas, why not start blogging? And why does it have to be just about music? True, I don't have kids or a family to tell you about the funny thing they did one day or update you on Timmy's chicken pox but I have Sailor...I guess I can update you on how many toys he destroyed this week. And I have travel plans that some might find interesting and entertaining to read about. And I'm also training for two marathons...well, 1/2 marathons. Two 1/2s equal a whole ok? I can tell you about that too. So damn it, I'm going to start blogging about my un-interestingness. Hey, it'll give you something to do at work right?

Top 10 songs that don't suck

Wow. I haven't posted in 2 months and so much has changed! I sort of forgot about blogging so I figure I should get on it. I usually go for a theme but not this post. These are my list of 10 songs that don't suck. I'm out of my country kick and sort of moving on to more dance/hip hoppy stuff. I think it's because of the gym and this awesome summer weather that is finally here. But don't fret, it's not all hip hop. :)

Boom Boom Pow- Black Eyed Peas- I didn't really like this song when I first heard it but it's growing on me. You just HAVE to listen to this song loud.

I Know You Want Me- Pitbull- I don't know what it is about this man but every song of his makes me want to shake my ass. I love it.



Stay- Safetysuit- I think these guys will be my new favorite band. I have been listening to some of their stuff and have loved every song I've heard. The Moment is another good song. "And I don't understand what happened between you and me but you will probably end up with someone half as good as me so..."

Walk Like A Gentleman- Eye Alaska- LOVE LOVE LOVE this band! I love his voice, I love the music, I love the lyrics. Just love them. They are coming to Salt Lake June 6th AND the 26th and I can't wait! I'm pretty sure I'll be the oldest one there but I don't even care. Their new album comes out July 7th.

I Knew You'd Never Fly- Eye Alaska- Just to show you how much in love with this band I am, 20% of this post is about them. Ha.



Jungle Drum- Emiliana Torrini- Candace and I found this little gem of a song while we were shopping last weekend and I just love it. It's catchy, happy, and adorable. It makes me happy.



Frontier City- Kings of Leon- I wasn't even aware that this song existed on the Only By The Night album until I happened to burn it for a friend and I can (almost) say it's my favorite song on the album. I say almost because I truly can't pick a favorite. The video is pretty cool too.



I Get It In- 50 Cent- Caution- Causes automatic head bobbing.

She Is Love- Parachute- This song is just tender and I love it. I'm a sucker for a man that can sing and play guitar. I'm also a hopeless romantic so I hope that I can be this for someone someday. :)

Say Hey- Michael Franti & Spearhead- This song just makes me feel good!



Also I just wanted to tell you guys about utahfm.org. Last Friday, I got to co-host a radio show with my good friend Josh Wells and it was the most fun I've had! I filled out a volunteer application so hopefully I'll get to host some more shows in the near future! Listen to Josh and Matty on Friday nights 9:00-10:30. Don't worry, they archive everything so you can listen for up to two weeks after the broadcast.

Top 10 Songs that remind Kybee of her Sissy

Hey bitches. It's the little sister now. You remember me, Ky-Ky, Little Howell, Kybee, whatever you call me. These are the top 10 songs that remind me of my big sister. Hang on to your beanie! I'm going to count down backwards.

#10 Piece of Shit Car-Adam Sandler. Heather's first car was a 1978 Honda Civic hatchback. We called it the pimp mobile. And don't even get it twisted, that's exactly what it was. We used to cruise all around Price (yeah it took us 10 minutes, what?) in this beauty. Here is a picture of what it looked like.






#9 Move Your Feet-Junior Senior. Heather and I used to go to Virgin Records and buy CD's. One day there was a free CD by the register and this song was number one. We jammed to this song like it was nobodies business. I now invite you all to do the same.



#8 Passenger-Deftones. White Pony is WAY my favorite Deftones album. Mostly because I remember hanging with my sister and the 02 crew and listening to it. We used to cruise in the Pimp Mobile (are we seeing a trend?) and I was always the passenger. So obviously when this song came on, I felt connected.

#7 Still Holding Out For You-SheDaisy. I used to beg my sister to let me sleep in her room with her. She used to listen to the most depressing shit when she fell asleep. There was at least 2 months where this song was constantly on repeat. Let go Heather, let go.

#6 Ape Dos Mil-GlassJaw. Heather was WAY at the concert that they filmed this video at. In fact, our friend Neil can be seen if you've got a watchful eye. GlassJaw in general reminds me of her and the song called "Hidden Track" for sure. She listened to that one on repeat as well. Fantastic band, fantastic songs.



#5 Vitamin-Incubus. As Heather said, we share our love for Incubus. She, Brandon Boyd and I will forever be intertwined. We were at Lollapalooza one year in the rain and he started playing this song on the bongo drums. With his shirt off. Did I mention in the rain? And we were stoned. Does it get better? No, it doesn't.



#4 Drinkin For 11-Mad Caddies. When Heather and I lived apart that was the hardest time in my whole life. She was my best friend and 2 hours felt like 20 days. This song always made me feel closer to her.

"I feel your presence and I can't let it go"



#3 SpottieOttieDopaliscious-Outkast. Yeah, ask me if I copied and pasted that title. One time, Heather and I smoked weed. We listened to this song. And it was good. And then I ate all of her bagels and cream cheese. Amen.



#2 Sleepwalker-Johnny and Santo. Heather has always told me that she wants this song played at her funeral. I will honor that as long as I'm not the first one to go : ) This song is just...ugh, go listen to it. Right now. Stop what you're doing. Go.

#1 Coheed and Cambria-Delirium Trigger. Heather took me to this concert for my birthday one year and we bought matching track jackets. We used to jam this shit like it was 1999. Whatchu know about this?



Alright since she made an exception for me, I must make an exception for her. So I am putting a number 11 on here.

#11 Homies-Lighter Shade of Brown. You don't know NOTHIN' 'bout this song. This song explains summer 1997. I don't even need to say anything about this song. Just push play, listen to this song, and remember the summer of 1997. My sister took me under her wing, and really honestly showed me what the definition of a homie is. Way.

Top 10 Songs That Remind Me of Kybee

Alright so this weeks little bloggy blog is going to be my top 10 songs that remind me of my favorite person in this whole wide world. No, not you. My sissy Kylee. "Wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it go.....weeeeheeeellllll."

#1- Minus the Bear- Pachuca Sunrise- L. O. V. E. this song. It's seriously so soothing. I'm taking Kylee to San Diego this summer and I'm going to make her listen to this while we are sitting on the beach with our adult beverages.



#2- Johnny Gill- Rub You The Right Way- HAHAHA. So she doesn't remember this song but I do. She was about two years old with her cute little hair cut jamming out like she was 25 ok? In her bitch boots no less. Cutest little girl ever.

#3- Incubus- Pardon Me- I borrowed this CD when I was in high school and this is probably when Kylee and I were at our closest. She would always want to sleep in my room with me so when we were going to sleep, I put this CD on. We both fell in love at the same time. Whenever I hear Incubus, she pops into my head.

#4- Petey Pablo- Raise Up- You probably were not aware of her gangster status but this is how she rolls.




















#5- Melanie- Brand New Key- Maybe it's because she listened to this on repeat when we were little, I don't know.

#6- Amanda should appreciate this one: The Beatles-Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds. It could have had something to do with the dark panelling and the bright orange lamp in the room but we sat and memorized this song while we were sleeping over at our grandparents house. I don't ever really like the Beatles (sorry Manda) but I'll forever think of her when I hear this song. Maybe if I would've done more acid? I don't know. Ha.

#7- Flight of the Conchords- Business Time (live version). Because two minutes is better than one minute in heaven. Kylee is so intense. Ha.



#8- Led Zeppelin- Fool In The Rain. One of my favorite childhood memories is listening to this song as loud as we could tolerate with my Mom and just dancing our asses off. We had so much fun dancing. I'm truly grateful, as I'm sure Kylee is, for the musical influence our Mom had on us. I can only hope I do the same for my kiddies.



#9- Deftones- Bored. We used to drive around in the Pimp Mobile jamming out to this. Yeah, we were THAT cool.

#10- Coheed and Cambria- Blood Red Summer. We went to this concert with each other and we had so much fun! Music has always been something that we've shared and I'm so lucky. Not just for that but for having her as a sister. :)




SO I know this is top 10 but we've got to make an exception because I forgot one. This song reminds me of her as well: