Showing posts with label hipster. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hipster. Show all posts

Friday, April 1, 2011

Just Be

My sister sent me an article this week on tips for better sleep. There were a total of five reasons that may cause crappy sleep. However, of these five, I can really only remember two because the others didn't really apply to me. I don't have the article and can't find a link to it, otherwise I would have loved to share it with you.

The first tip that applied to me is avoiding spicy foods. Apparently, the spice can give you heartburn (which I've never, ever had) and cause your body temperature to rise. Um, I'm pretty sure my blood is 5% Cholula. I put it on everything. Salad, soup, cottage cheese, tortillas, sandwiches, eggs, you get the point. I'm still unclear how exactly this causing sleeping issues but avoid spicy foods?! HA!

The second is alcohol, or as the article wrote "The Nightcap". I think a nightcap is what I'm going to call every adult beverage I consume because it just makes it sound so refined and grown up. When someone comes over, regardless the time of day, I'll open the fridge, grab a beer and ask, "Nightcap?" Also, I wish there was a beer called "Highball" because ordering a highball is so much fun. The universe has banned me from drinking hard alcohol to protect myself and those around me that I know and love so I can never order a highball. I've just now decided nightcap and highball are two of my favorite words.

Nightcap?

I'm really getting off track with this. I promise there is a point to this post. Over the last three years, I have had problems with sleeping. I either have crazy, vivid dreams/nightmares or just wake up at some ungodly hour and stay awake while my mind races. There is rarely a night where I sleep the whole night through and when I do, I feel like doing cartwheels down the hallway on my way to the bathroom for my morning pee. (Did the visual make you laugh too?)

Last night was no exception. I woke up around 2:30 AM and my mind instantly fired up. I convinced myself I needed to move back to Utah. Everyone I love is there and living life without me. The mountains are cradling the city, almost protecting it. I miss that protection. I know what restaurants I love and what to order there, I know the best venues to see shows, I know what areas to avoid driving and at what times. I KNOW Salt Lake. I eventually drifted back to sleep until my alarm shook me awake this morning. My first thought this morning was my mind's adventures last night.

Am I moving back to Salt Lake? Not anytime soon. Eventually? Maybe. I'm visiting in May so maybe that will satisfy my craving. Why the hell can't I shake this whole not having a goal thing and just be? I am a week away from moving into my own little place on the eastside of Austin and out of Cedar Park. (Thank goddesses) I even got a FREE bike so that I can start attending the social rides and zip over to downtown whenever I feel like it. Heather, take this time of being single, having no obligations, and getting the opportunity to reinvent yourself into whatever you want while you have it! You are 28 years old and not getting any younger. JUST BE!

Friday, March 4, 2011

Look at this f*@%ing hipster


If you don't know who The Sassy Gay Friend is, please YouTube him. Now. In an email conversation with Kylee, I was asking her for some advice on how to deal with a friend who has a serious obsession. This was her response.

"She needs a Sassy Gay Friend.

'This is kooks-de-luke*. She’s about to hop a flight and get the clap from disgusting musician Con Slayer*. This fate could have been avoided IF she had a sassy gay friend.'


SGF: 'What are you doing? What, what, what are you doing?'

KDL: 'Con Slayer* loves me, I know he does.'

SGF: 'So we exploit ourselves? EXPLOIT OURSELVES?!” He claimed to love Shmessica Schmimpson* too, did you revisit that gem in his closet?'

KDL: 'I have to go to him. I know he wants me.'

SGF: 'Sweetie, he fooled around with you in a seedy hotel room and he didn’t call you back. Then he had you physically removed from his presence. Are we seeing a pattern here?'

KDL: 'But sassy gay friend, how will I ever go on?'

SGF: 'You’re gonna smoke a bowl about it on your patio and MOVE ON! I can’t believe you wanted to be the inspiration for ‘Your Body Is A Wonderland’. You’re such a stupid bitch *into the camera* she’s a stupid bitch.'

*names have been changed to protect the identity of the crazy person, the musician, and the girl he supposedly loved.

Why she doesn't move here and complete my life is beyond me.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Look at this F*%#ing Hipster




Kylee: There is a jogger jogging in place right now and guess how many Livestrong bracelets I can count?


Me: Um....6?

Kylee: 5. Pretty sure Lance Armstrong only has 1 ball so you are only required to wear one Livestrong bracelet. I mean, I'm not trained in these kinds of things but I'm just putting 2 and 2...actually 1 and 1 together.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Just how bright is my future you ask?

This album cover was emailed to me today. Here is the conversation that followed.

Me: HAHA! I want to be them SO BAD!

Sue: Haha especially to have the creep with the mustache rubbing on you

Me: Exactly! I could pull off that hair but where do I find the creep? Ha.

Sue: I'll keep an eye out for you, preferably in short cut offs and a mesh shirt

Me: I'll bet we could find one at the concert series this summer.

Sue: Hahahaha, I am pretty sure you are right

Me: My future is so bright.

Sue: Haha, I bet hipstercrite knows plenty of dudes in Austin who look like that.

Me: OMG you know she does! I hear Austin is the land of hipsters and rednecks. Hi, I'm going to live there. That album cover could very well be next years Christmas card. Or better yet, my wedding announcement.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Look at this fu$*@&g hipster...




Kylee: Not knowing anyone at work is awkward ok?

Me: Yeah but you are a bamf so you'll make friends fast.

Kylee: I know. ha. I just hate eating lunch alone!

Me: Ok mimi. Make friends with a hipster!

Kylee: Mimi? You should see this samoan hispter sitting in front of me!

**sends photo of said hipster**

Me: I didn't even think those existed! It's like a unicorn. Rare and magical.

Kylee: I'm telling you, this place is like hipster mecca.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Look at this fu$#@*g hipster....



Kylee: It's not like not drinking makes you a better person. Jesus drank wine ok? I'm not going to disrespect him by acting like drinking is bad. haha.

Me: Yeah, just because you eat broccoli and tofu and drink non-alcoholic beverages, that doesn't make you better than Jesus.

Kylee: Jesus is larger than life ok?

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Look at this fu$#@*g hipster....



Kylee: Shut the front door.

Me: Is that Mormon for shut the fuck up?

Kylee: Yep!

Me: Ha.Chrizzle.

Kylee: Is that Snoop for Christ?

Monday, December 21, 2009

Look at this fu$*#&g hipster...



This is my "little beeb sees" and she is one of the funniest girls I know. Love you Ky Ky!

Me: God. I just want to live in Forks and pretend Edward will find me ok?!

Kylee: Well you can live there. Thats step 1

Me: What's step 2?

Kylee: Bite your lip alot.

Me: Hahahahahahaa!

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Me: That Jesus is creepy. He's HUGE!

Kylee: Jesus is larger than life, ok?!

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