Friday, December 25, 2009


Home. I think I've finally achieved it. I think one of the hardest parts of this last break-up (major one) was that I lost that sense of home because the family aspect was gone. No little footsteps running around, no having to beg him to wake up to eat Sunday breakfast, no complaining about laundry on the bathroom floor. After the split I moved all my crap into my friends place. Sure, there was all the material things that made up that previous said home...the decorations, pictures, furniture...but it just didn't feel like home.

After about six months of that I actually moved "home". Back in with my Mom. I even had my own room and got to fill it with my own stuff whereas before, all my stuff was in storage and I was pretty much a guest. Sure I was home and I loved the opportunities I got by living there. I travelled a ton this summer. I gained some experiences that I'll NEVER forget. Seeing Kings of Leon live(!!!!!!), watching a baseball game in one of the most gorgeous tunderstorms/staduims ever, getting lost in the state of Colorado because we were too drunk to use our GPS, staying in a disgusting hotel in Vegas, eating breakfast on the beach, met some guys that will forever remain in my heart, I could go on for days. But at the end of the day, it still just wasn't home.

So, I lived somewhere having all my possessions and it didn't feel like home. I moved to the actual place I consider home, didn't feel like home. What's a girl to do? I got a place of my own, had that someone to fall asleep next to almost every night, cook dinner for, cuddle up next to on the couch, but what do you know?! Still didn't feel like home. You know why? Because it wasn't love. That someone has now been out of the picture for almost a month. I knew going in that it would be nothing, just something out of convienience. Does it make it better? No. Do I still think about him? Of course. Do I still wake up and check my phone praying that he's text or called me? Sure. But I think that's a part of being human. It's given me time to re-set my priorities, have some alone time, and make my place my own.

I wrapped presents the other night while having to stop and entertain Sailor by throwing his ball that he kept "accidentally" dropping off the bed. After placing all the presents under the tree I took a look around and realized for the first time, I'm home! I don't know if it was because of Christams or because I got to cook my traditional breakfast for not a man but my best friend Candace last weekend or having company all weekend but I finally feel at home after over a year and you know what?! It's about time and I'm SO happy!!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

What I can't quit listening to

Maybe it's my sudden obsession with Twilight since I've been re-reading the books and watching the first movie like it's the only DVD that works in my DVD player, but I can't stop listening to this song by Robert Pattinson AKA Edward AKA fantasy o' matic. His voice is dreamy and makes him even more b-e-a-utiful. Sigh.

Also, if I don't get this album for Christmas, I'll be purchasing it from I-tunes on my new laptop. ;P Hailey Williams' voice is amazing.

And one more. I found this band while listening to The Dear Hunter radio on Pandora. I love this song.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Look at this fu$*#&g hipster...

This is my "little beeb sees" and she is one of the funniest girls I know. Love you Ky Ky!

Me: God. I just want to live in Forks and pretend Edward will find me ok?!

Kylee: Well you can live there. Thats step 1

Me: What's step 2?

Kylee: Bite your lip alot.

Me: Hahahahahahaa!


Me: That Jesus is creepy. He's HUGE!

Kylee: Jesus is larger than life, ok?!


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Sooooooooooo..... all 5 of you that follow this can see, I haven't blogged in quite some time. Part of that is the fact that I don't own a computer. Another part is, well, I'm just not that interesting. And another is that I don't have a camera to document all that un-interestingness. Is that even a word? Well I decided last night that since I plan on buying a camera in the very near future and heard it through the grapevine that Santa is bringing me a laptop for Christmas, why not start blogging? And why does it have to be just about music? True, I don't have kids or a family to tell you about the funny thing they did one day or update you on Timmy's chicken pox but I have Sailor...I guess I can update you on how many toys he destroyed this week. And I have travel plans that some might find interesting and entertaining to read about. And I'm also training for two marathons...well, 1/2 marathons. Two 1/2s equal a whole ok? I can tell you about that too. So damn it, I'm going to start blogging about my un-interestingness. Hey, it'll give you something to do at work right?