Thursday, April 14, 2011

Wanna be in love for real

You know when you wake up and just feel like being a masochist and decide that you're going to torture yourself all day by making yourself feel hurty? No? Hmm. It's just me then? This is awkward. Today is one of those days. And by feeling hurty, I mean with music, not with razors. I don't mean to get all "Tickle Me Emo" on your ass but hot damn, sometimes it's just good to wallow.

Rachael Yamagata, you got me and you got me good! I've spent the greater part of the morning completely drowning myself in her PLUS it's cloudy outside and it hurts so good. My chest is literally tight. This coffee tastes salty...

Send me some sunshine peeps.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Just Be

My sister sent me an article this week on tips for better sleep. There were a total of five reasons that may cause crappy sleep. However, of these five, I can really only remember two because the others didn't really apply to me. I don't have the article and can't find a link to it, otherwise I would have loved to share it with you.

The first tip that applied to me is avoiding spicy foods. Apparently, the spice can give you heartburn (which I've never, ever had) and cause your body temperature to rise. Um, I'm pretty sure my blood is 5% Cholula. I put it on everything. Salad, soup, cottage cheese, tortillas, sandwiches, eggs, you get the point. I'm still unclear how exactly this causing sleeping issues but avoid spicy foods?! HA!

The second is alcohol, or as the article wrote "The Nightcap". I think a nightcap is what I'm going to call every adult beverage I consume because it just makes it sound so refined and grown up. When someone comes over, regardless the time of day, I'll open the fridge, grab a beer and ask, "Nightcap?" Also, I wish there was a beer called "Highball" because ordering a highball is so much fun. The universe has banned me from drinking hard alcohol to protect myself and those around me that I know and love so I can never order a highball. I've just now decided nightcap and highball are two of my favorite words.


I'm really getting off track with this. I promise there is a point to this post. Over the last three years, I have had problems with sleeping. I either have crazy, vivid dreams/nightmares or just wake up at some ungodly hour and stay awake while my mind races. There is rarely a night where I sleep the whole night through and when I do, I feel like doing cartwheels down the hallway on my way to the bathroom for my morning pee. (Did the visual make you laugh too?)

Last night was no exception. I woke up around 2:30 AM and my mind instantly fired up. I convinced myself I needed to move back to Utah. Everyone I love is there and living life without me. The mountains are cradling the city, almost protecting it. I miss that protection. I know what restaurants I love and what to order there, I know the best venues to see shows, I know what areas to avoid driving and at what times. I KNOW Salt Lake. I eventually drifted back to sleep until my alarm shook me awake this morning. My first thought this morning was my mind's adventures last night.

Am I moving back to Salt Lake? Not anytime soon. Eventually? Maybe. I'm visiting in May so maybe that will satisfy my craving. Why the hell can't I shake this whole not having a goal thing and just be? I am a week away from moving into my own little place on the eastside of Austin and out of Cedar Park. (Thank goddesses) I even got a FREE bike so that I can start attending the social rides and zip over to downtown whenever I feel like it. Heather, take this time of being single, having no obligations, and getting the opportunity to reinvent yourself into whatever you want while you have it! You are 28 years old and not getting any younger. JUST BE!