Thursday, July 29, 2010

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Oh. My. Bob.

Sooooo, good news. My proposal to keep my job when I move to Texas was approved. YAY! My supervisors asked me if I was excited and I explained by asking them to purchase the Jessie (YOU WIN KYLEE!!) Spano "I'm so excited, I'm so scared" t-shirt. The conversation somehow or another led to Bob Marley and his My fear is my only courage quote and then just spiraled about Bob and his awesomeness for longer than was actually necessary. My mother, being a supervisor here (not my supervisor) was CC'd on this whole conversation.

About twenty minutes after the email convo ended, I get an email saying AND I QUOTE: "You guys need some work! Who is Bob Marley?" WHAT?! The woman I give all credit to my music nerdery to does not know who Bob Marley is?!

What is this world coming to? Next you are going to tell me there is no Santa. Pshaw. Maybe he'll bring me that t-shirt for Christmas this year!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The post where adultry and inhumanity make me mushy

While reading through my list of blogs I follow on the daily a few days ago, I came across this post. The whole thing just made me....shudder. The fact that these kinds of things are going on, publicized or not, just make me ill to my stomach and further back my belief that ignorance truly is bliss. While reading, a particular portion really stuck with me.

Sometimes we do things not because they are guaranteed to lead to the desired outcome. Look at the Hindenburg. Look at Pickett’s Charge. Look at “Herbie: Fully Loaded.” Look at most attempts at meaningful human connections.

Look at most attempts at meaningful human connections. It echoed in my head all day. What is the point of making those connections really? Why can some people have many different circles of friends and maintain relationships with all and others can only hold as many as one or two friends? Why are we so willing to jump into a relationship head first without looking back when most times, you hit the ground and break not only your head but your heart? (I'm probably the most guilty person of this)

A few of my friends are probably friends only for the sheer fact that we grew up together. We don't really have that much in common but our childhood has woven this blanket that keeps us wrapped around one another. A friend and I were just talking last night about how Price people (Price is the town we grew up in) mostly hang out with other Price people. Sometimes it's not even intentional. You can move away with the intent of starting a new life and meeting new people but the chance of you hanging out with another Price person is pretty great.
Then there are the friendships that are made without even meeting that person in real life, whether it be a pen pal, someone you met online, or just by talking on the phone. I became friends with a man who would always call my work line with questions and one thing led to another and we started emailing back and forth. I've never met him but consider him a friend. My oldest standing friendship of this sort goes back about 15 years or so, back when AOL just became popular. I just dated myself, didn't I? We've kept in contact via phone, snail mail, and recently reconnected via Facebook. We are planning to meet at next years Mardi Gras in good ole New Orleans. I never imagined we'd really meet but it's going to happen.

Then there are friends that when you meet them, you just know that person will make a major impact on your life and stay in it forever. Friends that you can expect brutal honestly with, cry with, laugh with, get into trouble with. You may get in a petty fight where you don't talk for two weeks over something ridiculous but the second you work past that, it's as if no time has changed. Or they may move away but when they visit it is like they never even left and you are back to making each other laugh at 4 AM singing Bruce Springsteen to one another in a delirious fog. "Hey little girl, is your daddy home or did he go and leave you all alone....?"

Sadly, there are those friendships that last only a little while, be it two weeks or two years. For whatever reason, those friendships end. Maybe they were only there at a time where you both needed something and once you've got it, you can move on. It doesn't make those friendships better or worse, they just are what they are.

I'll probably never fully understand how or why we humans do connect in the ways that we do but I do know that I'm so lucky to have the people in my life that I do. I love them all and wish I could just get them all together right now for a big group hug. Love you all!

Not sure why I'm so sentimental but take it for what it's worth.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Maybe in five or ten, yours and mine will meet again and straighten this whole thing out.

What if you had total closure and were completely over it and then one conversation sparked up and left you feeling a desperate urge to just get in your car and drive to that person and spill all your guts you didn't even know you had anymore? And what if the fact that you were moving 1300 miles away from that person made the desperation all that stronger? WHAT DO YOU DO?

I'm gonna throw up.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Serious porn addiction

I just wanted to take some time today to address a serious problem I have. Some people may call it an addiction. Others refer to it as an over-indulgence. I didn't really realize it was a problem until I saw a billboard advertising help for it. There it was in huge letters: Alcoholism, Pain Pills, Gambling....and then I saw it....PORN ADDICTION.

I know, I know. I'm just as surprised as you. It's like I don't even know who I am anymore. Now that I'm trying to limit my spending and lighten my possessions, it seems as if my addiction is taking over. It's all I think about. And when I'm not looking at it, I'm wondering when the next time will be that I do get to look at it.

I'm going to share with you some pictures of the porn that has disabled me from living a normal life.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

Vulgar right!? If you know of any 12 step programs or counseling that I can maybe get into to seek some help, that would be appreciated. I hope you don't think less of me now that you know of my addiction. I promise I'll get help.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Some sound dating advice

Do not ask a girl if she's ever kicked her dog just to see how far it could go. Especially when her dog has a face like this:

Never mind the fact that he has zombie eyes in this photo.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

where this curse holds these memories of a man, you know he's lost.

Pancake mix

Sunshine streaming through the windows

Frozen canisters of OJ

Stolen kisses on the cheek

Freshly brewed coffee

Broken dippy eggs

Noses nestled in necks

Sausage sizzling

Barefeet pittering on wood floors

Ice cold milk

I'm lonely this Sunday morning.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

And man I'm, I'm just in Chicago

As I've mentioned before, one of my besties recently moved to Chicago. I went to visit her and it totally prepared me for my own upcoming move. I did a lot of observing and asking questions since she is basically doing what I'm about to do. The difference is that she has her sister there although, they are completely different in every single way. The only thing they have in common is DNA.

I found myself alone while she was at work and navigating myself to the nearest grocery store, which was quite the adventure. When nothing is familiar, you do much more observing and mimicking. I found myself being even more out-going as I usually am, just to have someone give me that nod of understanding or see the look of complete desperation in my eyes that totally gave away that I was an outsider. I felt like everyone I walked past was watching me like a hawk because I couldn't be trusted. It was very odd.

Insecurity turns me into the clumsiest person ever. I become so overwhelmed that I'm blinded. Boarding the bus, I couldn't even figure out where to insert my pass properly. I'm not even shitting you, a blind man hopped on the bus the next stop and without hesitation, bam. He even knew. However, I did manage to navigate my way all by myself from Christina's house to the airport via public transit the day I left. Do you know how accomplished I feel? Yeah, people do it every day but I grew up in a small ass town that doesn't even have taxi service let alone a bus system. I even had to ride a bus AND train. I know, I know. I'm that awesome.

On the plane ride home, I sat next to a very attractive gentleman. (Silver wedding band included.) We exchanged small "single-serving friend" talk before I put in my headphones and drifted off to sleep. Only I woke up in a violent shake that resulted in me hitting him about 30 minutes later. Yeah, I'm the graceful type. I'm still embarrassed when I think about it and he's probably long since forgot about being a punching bag on flight 1974.

I know I've probably talked about me moving both to you reading and those who know me in real life way too much but it's always on my mind. Always. Truth is, I'm scared as fuck. I'm not even sure this is the right decision. I'm leaving everything and everyone I know and love to chase some crazy dream. Every boundary I've made and lived by is slowly losing its borders. Any and all routines I had are now a thing of the past. I honestly considered just sending for my clothes and staying in Chicago. I really hope this works out. If I cause myself extreme loneliness and clumsiness for nothing, I'm really going to be pissed.

Anyone want to visit Austin? I'll cook breakfast! I'm totally serious.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Office Shenanigans

I work in the typical office world of TPS reports, faxes, and office memos. Yesterday was our fiscal year end and this was our day....

The blonde is our Executive Director and the brunette is the mother of Yours Truly who is a supervisor. After a year or so of recession crisis and no raises, this was so refreshing.