Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Scenes from my life

Actual conversation between me and boyfriend:

Me: Baby, can I make you an egg nog?

Boyfriend:, I think I'm ok. Thank you though.

Me: Are you sure? Maybe just a small one?

Boyfriend: Nah.

Me: Just a small one. It won't be that big.

Boyfriend: It's ok.

Me: Are you sure?


Boyfriend: Ok, sure.

Me: Are you sure? You don't have to have one if you don't want one.

**Complete awkward silence** (Also, I haven't been able to put into words the look he gave me)

You guys, girls are crazy. Bat shit, Congress-bridge-filled-with-bat-shit crazy. Why did I just talk him into an eggnog and then try and talk him out of one? I don't even get me.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011


Can we talk about how many commercials have caught me by the ear in this last little bit? Whoever is in advertising right now is a serious music fan because I'm LOVING the things I'm hearing. Do you recognize these songs?

Friday, December 9, 2011

Kardashian Kraziness

First of all, let's talk about how annoying that title is. Second, let's talk about how annoying my addiction to trashy TV is. In my defense, even boyfriend has been caught up in this fuckery we call the Kardashian family. We find ourselves watching their 18 shows on E! and commenting on what assholes they are and then reality sets in and we find ourselves questioning who we are as people for finding enjoyment in the show in the first place.

This week, I learned how to fishtail braid my hair AND went to Sears and secretly checked out the Kardashian Kollection. I'm such a Kardashian now.....except for the whole being a millionaire for doing nothing and effing ball players all the days.

Basically the only thing that makes me a Kardashian is the fishtail thing. So....I guess that doesn't really qualify as anything. Still. I'm pretty stoked on my skills.

Next up is finding the cahones to pull off that hot pink or bright red lipstick. Hhhhhhh.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

I'm Just Sayin' That You Could Do Bettah.

Is it me or does this song sound a little like the Peter Gabriel song featured on the City of Angels soundtrack? Oh yeah, I haven't heard it either....ehem. No but for real. It reminds me of that song. You guys! I'm obsessed with this CD!! I don't know that I've ever mentioned this before but I have THE most awesome sister in the entire world. She sent me this album yesterday and I can't stop listening! I stay logged on at work just so I can listen to this song. (Holla for overtime!) Boyf is a hater of Drake because of his Sprite commercial so I've been sparing him but I don't know how long I'll be that nice. I'm sure if he listened to it he'd be as much in love with it.

I've actually learned quite a bit about boyfriend these past two weeks. I've known him for over a year but am still learning things about him. He enjoys window shopping! Do you know how huge that is for me? He likes looking at furniture! It's amazing and I love it. Tonight he just admitted that he likes Rihanna. I've been hiding my passion for Rihanna but now I'm FREE!! I haven't been able to stop listening to "We Found Love" for the last two weeks. I turn into this guy whenever it's on, no joke:

I have a weird question. I'm not expecting an answer. I think I might just need to say it out loud. (Or type it because I don't actually speak while blogging. Maybe I should?) Do you think you've escaped the past? Are you fully content with everything that has come and gone? Is it weird that I'm not or is it a normal thing to have these feelings? Maybe it's just Christmas time and I'm getting too sentimental. It's just that sometimes I can let my mind wander into the 'what ifs' of my life and I really don't appreciate it.

Don't get me wrong. I know that everything that I've experienced and gone through up until this point has got me to where I am. I am so happy to be able to say that I live in Austin. I've stepped out of any comfort zone I could ever even imagine that I had and tried something new and made a new life for myself. I've made friends and I've made enemies. Had things "worked out" I would probably be a fatty living in Price, UT with 5 kids. Or dealing with a bipolar baby momma with all sorts of drama. Or maybe in some other tiny ass town living a life that isn't me. It's just that sometimes I wonder if the life I'm living now is where I should be. 

Do y'all have these feelings ever?  

Monday, November 7, 2011

I miss Utah...

...and lately, the things I've missed about Utah are all food related.


Thursday, October 6, 2011

Oh, my dear blog.

Ahhhh! I cannot believe how much I've missed this little blog!! I doubt anybody is even reading anymore but I don't even care. I logged into Blogger for the first time in I don't even know how long and my fingers just ached to type. I think I needed that little vacation from blogging but now I'm finding myself needing that outlet again. My how life has changed since my last few posts.

I will admit that the sheen of Austin hasn't necessarily worn off but I know now that this isn't home. Don't get me wrong, when I pack up that car again and leave this town in the rear view mirror, there are things that I will miss terribly and a little piece of my heart will remain here. There truly is a magic to this town that can't be duplicated. It's just...not home. Since I've been gone from Utah, I haven't so much missed the crazy liquor laws or all the damn Mormons but I've realized, those are MY crazy liquor laws and MY damn Mormons. Those mountains and the pesky snow, the grid streets, the Capitol building nesting on the hill, they are mine. My home. I think before I came here, I took it all for granted. Sure I loved it, but I didn't love it as much I as I should have.

One thing Texas has taught me is pride. Man, these Texans do NOT mess with Texas. Probably why that is their state motto. They LOVE their state. I remember the first time I sat in a sports bar while a UT game was on and my ears rang for a week. It was INSANE! I lived a block off of campus in Utah and I hated when there was a game because that meant traffic and fighting for a parking spot to my own apartment. Now it means home pride and loyalty. I was literally put out last weekend because I had made plans to go out before knowing a Utah game was on. I text my boyfriend for the score multiple times and even though it wasn't an exciting game, I felt horrible for missing out on it. I would've given anything to be home on the couch next to my Utah boy watching that Utah game.

I feel like I should mention that me and Utah boy share a couch....more than that I suppose. We share an apartment. A tiny, 376 sq. ft. studio apartment. There's no escaping his snoring by sleeping on the couch because it's 3 ft. from the bed. There's no alone time, no privacy, nothing. I've been skipping out on the Thursday Night Social Rides just to give us some space. I fear we'll kill each other without it. If we can survive this, maybe we can survive anything! He is pretty damn cute though so I suppose I'll make the best of the situation. ;)

Utah, I love and miss you so much! I never thought I'd say those words but it's true. I miss the mountains, I miss my family, and most of all, I miss my friends. I've met some great people here but none have compared to the ones I have at home. With the exception of Reggie in Arizona and Christina in Florida (yes, Florida), y'all are in Utah and I want you near me. I suppose my adorable Utah boy will have to do for now but I WILL be coming home. Maybe not tomorrow, next month, or even 6 months from now but damn it, when I do come home, I want as many 3.2% beers as I can handle (which will probably be a lot since I'm used to a higher %), and all of my friends around me.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Beer and loathing in Las Austin

Congress Bridge. Taken by yours truly.
Oh my poor blog! I have totally neglected you! I'll bet everybody has up and forgot about our little corner of the Internet by now. Oh well. Let's just say I've been in intake mode. I'm finally living in Austin proper and I'm loving it. I'm drinking it in....literally.

Everything you hear about Austin is true. It's weird, it's kitchy, it's amazing, it's unlike any other city. I couldn't have picked a better place to up and move to. I've met so many different and wonderful people. Even people I've met in passing and will probably never meet again have made an impression on this heart of mine.

I'm not going to tell you that life has been sunshine and roses. Moving to a new city all by yourself is fucking hard. Not only that but trying to reinvent the person that you once were and letting go of everything you've ever believed in, wanted, and needed is nothing short of the hardest thing I've done in my lifetime so far....well, except for that one time I dislocated my shoulder and had to lay in the road and jam it back in myself. Then I proceeded to ride my bicycle to the bar and party the rest of the night with my little brother and about 100 other Austinites. That was pretty hard too. The dislocating thing, not the partying thing. But that's neither here nor there. I'm broke, I'm lonely, I'm excited, I'm in love, I almost got arrested, I'm confused. It's INSANE.

Some days I wake up and I'm completely happy and content with the way things are going and other days, I wake up and question every decision I've made. It drives me banana sandwich. Let's just say the whole "just be" thing isn't exactly sticking. Why is it that I'm such a control freak? Why can't I just go with the flow? I'm in the middle of hippie central! Surely it will rub off on me soon enough. Right?

Funny thing about this post is that I wanted to talk about Bon Iver and the new album. I don't know what happened but I sat here and my fingers just started typing and here we are. You guys.....*deep breath*...this album is amazing. I'm completely consumed by it. By now y'all know how my obsession can be with music. I'll listen to something non-stop for the better part of a week and then I can move on. I don't know that this will happen with this album. I think it's because it just fits with where I am in life and the way I'm feeling. I've had the chills for two days straight.

This album jumps around so much. One second you will have a slow ballad and the next you have a song that reminds you of the theme song from Growing Pains. There's even a song that features a bicycle bell. Tell me that isn't the cutest thing in life! Justin Vernon is a man after my own heart and he doesn't even know it.

This is probably my favorite song on the record. I could only find the live version since the "web sheriff" is apparently a Nazi when it comes to YouTube. Enjoy.

And I want to tell you,
I was not magnificent

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Call me Captain Obvious

Oh life. You are this close to being everything I want you to be. This. Close. This song was playing in the background as I was working just now and the lyrics took me by the throat and forced my ears to the speakers. My heart is dancing with those lyrics right now. And my throat has a lump in it.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Wanna be in love for real

You know when you wake up and just feel like being a masochist and decide that you're going to torture yourself all day by making yourself feel hurty? No? Hmm. It's just me then? This is awkward. Today is one of those days. And by feeling hurty, I mean with music, not with razors. I don't mean to get all "Tickle Me Emo" on your ass but hot damn, sometimes it's just good to wallow.

Rachael Yamagata, you got me and you got me good! I've spent the greater part of the morning completely drowning myself in her PLUS it's cloudy outside and it hurts so good. My chest is literally tight. This coffee tastes salty...

Send me some sunshine peeps.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Just Be

My sister sent me an article this week on tips for better sleep. There were a total of five reasons that may cause crappy sleep. However, of these five, I can really only remember two because the others didn't really apply to me. I don't have the article and can't find a link to it, otherwise I would have loved to share it with you.

The first tip that applied to me is avoiding spicy foods. Apparently, the spice can give you heartburn (which I've never, ever had) and cause your body temperature to rise. Um, I'm pretty sure my blood is 5% Cholula. I put it on everything. Salad, soup, cottage cheese, tortillas, sandwiches, eggs, you get the point. I'm still unclear how exactly this causing sleeping issues but avoid spicy foods?! HA!

The second is alcohol, or as the article wrote "The Nightcap". I think a nightcap is what I'm going to call every adult beverage I consume because it just makes it sound so refined and grown up. When someone comes over, regardless the time of day, I'll open the fridge, grab a beer and ask, "Nightcap?" Also, I wish there was a beer called "Highball" because ordering a highball is so much fun. The universe has banned me from drinking hard alcohol to protect myself and those around me that I know and love so I can never order a highball. I've just now decided nightcap and highball are two of my favorite words.


I'm really getting off track with this. I promise there is a point to this post. Over the last three years, I have had problems with sleeping. I either have crazy, vivid dreams/nightmares or just wake up at some ungodly hour and stay awake while my mind races. There is rarely a night where I sleep the whole night through and when I do, I feel like doing cartwheels down the hallway on my way to the bathroom for my morning pee. (Did the visual make you laugh too?)

Last night was no exception. I woke up around 2:30 AM and my mind instantly fired up. I convinced myself I needed to move back to Utah. Everyone I love is there and living life without me. The mountains are cradling the city, almost protecting it. I miss that protection. I know what restaurants I love and what to order there, I know the best venues to see shows, I know what areas to avoid driving and at what times. I KNOW Salt Lake. I eventually drifted back to sleep until my alarm shook me awake this morning. My first thought this morning was my mind's adventures last night.

Am I moving back to Salt Lake? Not anytime soon. Eventually? Maybe. I'm visiting in May so maybe that will satisfy my craving. Why the hell can't I shake this whole not having a goal thing and just be? I am a week away from moving into my own little place on the eastside of Austin and out of Cedar Park. (Thank goddesses) I even got a FREE bike so that I can start attending the social rides and zip over to downtown whenever I feel like it. Heather, take this time of being single, having no obligations, and getting the opportunity to reinvent yourself into whatever you want while you have it! You are 28 years old and not getting any younger. JUST BE!

Sunday, March 20, 2011


You guys, these addictions need to stop! I can't do anything productive when all I do is wait for the next moment to listen to my Ipod! It's getting to be ri-goddamn-diculous. SXSW has been in full swing and let me tell you, I've learned that I'm not as old as I thought I was getting. I've spent every night (including school nights) out and about until all hours of the morning! Granted, I've clocked into work later than usual but it's totally worth it.

I highly suggest you head over to Itunes and download the FREE SXSW 2011 sampler. I'm not sure how long it's available for download but it's great. It's got everyone from The Civil Wars (who gives me the chills every damn time) to Foster the People to Black Joe Lewis. Did you see the whole part where I said it was free? Did you also see the part where I mentioned Foster the People? Oh, you don't know who they are?

Not only are they easy on the eyes, they are pretty talented kids!

Another band that I haven't been able to stop listening to is the Local Natives. (Thank you Jonny) I posted one of their songs last week but seriously, I am in love. They came out with their only album over a year ago and I really hope they have plans to put out more stuff.

Also, my dog bit a rockstar this week. I've never hidden the fact that he's a dick. In his defense, Eric was totally provoking him. Other than that, I've just been preparing for the big move her in a couple of weeks! Can't wait to post pictures of it once it's all put together.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Pussy Control

I found a cat hair in my coffee this morning. Don't worry, I'm still drinking the cup. Lord only knows how much cat hair I've accidentally consumed. GAG! It reminded me of a Comedy Central special with Nick Kroll and the way he describes cats is priceless. I wanted to include the whole clip but could only find it broken up into two. Don't mind the quality of the second video.

This guy must've spent a lot of time with cats. I'm allergic to them so I've never really been around them until now. Cleaning up cat vomit, emptying litter boxes, and having a meal Rick Rolled by cat hair will soon be a thing of the past! Can't wait.

Now I'm off to watch the amazing choreography in Rick Astley's music video.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Handsome boy

Maybe I'm biased but I have the most handsome puppy in all the land. Amen.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet diiiisssppoosssiitttioooonnnnn.

Sweet disposition, much like sweet emotion.....only sweeter.

Well, good news! I filled out an application on a place that my heart has been set on for the greater part of a month and I must say, I CAN'T WAIT! It's only a studio but it will be perfect for what I need it for. I have already bought a few pieces to pull the place together and I absolutely cannot wait. I'm pretty excited to post pictures of it. I don't want to show you what I've purchased just yet because it may take a bit to pull all together. Think of it as my Christmas morning.

I will say how incredibly sad I am to leave my amazing roommate. It's still hard to believe how we've become instant and infinite friends. She really is someone I hope to have in my life forever. I have had such an incredible time living with Leslie. She truly is a one of a kind. Thank you Stef for introducing us. Just another reason why I owe you more than words can say. I just need to get out before I become the crazy cat lady.

I'm on week two of job number two and I must say it's sort of just that. Number two. I took the job thinking I'd meet some fun people to hang out with outside of work but the people there are either married, have kids, or are totally crusty. The only thing keeping me going is my work ethic. I have an amazing record and I don't want to be put on any "no rehire" list. Stupid pride. I guess the extra paycheck won't hurt either.

Speaking of stupid pride...I've been hanging out with a boy for a few months now and fought the urge to like him. He was everything I was trying to escape with Utah...being exactly that. Utah. How does one meet a boy from Utah in Austin you ask? Her ex. I didn't like him. At all. Up until my birthday. He was the perfect gentleman, charming, and won over every single one of my friends. (All 3 of them.) But alas, like every man that comes into my life, they exit. I'm not beat up by it. Just a little mystified. I'll be over it by weeks end. I really just don't get how you can leave without so much as a "good-bye", a "fuck you", a "peace out". Seems to be trending much like #winning these days.

But alas, I can't wait for the weeks to come. The butterflies are telling me it's going to be amazing.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Look at this f*@%ing hipster

If you don't know who The Sassy Gay Friend is, please YouTube him. Now. In an email conversation with Kylee, I was asking her for some advice on how to deal with a friend who has a serious obsession. This was her response.

"She needs a Sassy Gay Friend.

'This is kooks-de-luke*. She’s about to hop a flight and get the clap from disgusting musician Con Slayer*. This fate could have been avoided IF she had a sassy gay friend.'

SGF: 'What are you doing? What, what, what are you doing?'

KDL: 'Con Slayer* loves me, I know he does.'

SGF: 'So we exploit ourselves? EXPLOIT OURSELVES?!” He claimed to love Shmessica Schmimpson* too, did you revisit that gem in his closet?'

KDL: 'I have to go to him. I know he wants me.'

SGF: 'Sweetie, he fooled around with you in a seedy hotel room and he didn’t call you back. Then he had you physically removed from his presence. Are we seeing a pattern here?'

KDL: 'But sassy gay friend, how will I ever go on?'

SGF: 'You’re gonna smoke a bowl about it on your patio and MOVE ON! I can’t believe you wanted to be the inspiration for ‘Your Body Is A Wonderland’. You’re such a stupid bitch *into the camera* she’s a stupid bitch.'

*names have been changed to protect the identity of the crazy person, the musician, and the girl he supposedly loved.

Why she doesn't move here and complete my life is beyond me.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Current obsessions

I'm blaming the city of Austin for the following current obsessions:

Lykke Li- Little Bit
I don't know what it is about the petite little Sweeds(The Knifes, Robyn) but they sure are adorable. I love, love, love this song. And more than a little bit. Check out Drake's take on it as well.

Adele- Turning Tables
I was lucky enough to see Adele a few years ago in Utah with James Morrison. Her voice is incredible and her lyrics are heart-wrenchingly beautiful. I haven't been able to stop listening to this song off her new album. This guy also does a pretty beautiful cover.

Passion Pit- Sleepyhead
Passion Pit, to me, is Austin. It's weird, fruity, and makes you feel comfortably awkward. Damn hipsters. Passion Pit radio on Pandora as been in heavy rotation these past few weeks. Not too shabby for a band that initially started out as a dude writing a few songs as a Valentine's Day gift for his girlfriend.

And lastly, I feel it is my moral obligation to let you in on a little hangover cure. I was not a believer until I had a CRIPPLING hangover a couple of months ago. I don't know if it's my old age or what but I can't hang like I used to. I couldn't even sit up and needless to say, I stayed in bed ALL day. My roommate (bless her heart) brought me home a Rockstar Recovery. I shit you not, 15 minutes after I drank it, I felt like Spring morning. I'm hooked. I turned my friend Mike on to them (dude drinks 365) and he wants it on tap at his house. 

Things in Austin are on the up and up. I had a little bit of a rocky road but I'm happy to report that things are changing for the better. I got a second job that I start today. I'm pretty stoked. The extra money will be nice but more importantly, I can't wait to have the human interaction. Working from home is FANTASTIC, don't get me wrong. It's just not very ideal for someone that just moved to a new city.

Lastly, on Saturday I'm going to look at my potential new home!! I love my roommate and am a little sad we won't see each other every day but I want (and need) to be closer to all the action. Hopefully I'll be a resident of the hipster coveted East side of Austin. I'm still on the fence about committing to Austin completely so I'm getting a studio to save on furniture but I've pretty much already decorated the place in my head. Hopefully a post about my adorable new place is in the near future!

Friday, February 18, 2011


"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"Slutty girls!"
"Slutty girls who?"
"Slutty girls dancing on a shark tank!"

Nobody ever writes about the bad parts of Austin. All you hear about is how amazing this city is. Don't get me wrong, I adore Austin! I think it is a very unconventional, fun, outrageous, crazy, and animated city. I've made some great memories in the very short five months that I've lived here and can't wait for the many memories to come. That being said and just like any other city, there are some shitty places in this town.

Exhibit A:

A couple of friends recently came into town and a friend that lives here really wanted to impress them so she took us to all these different bars. We went to the bar from the link above. Immediately after walking in I was turned off by it. The floor is a shark tank that everybody dances on, which is a cool concept but, all I could think of was how cruel it was to the sharks. How would you feel if a bunch of ugly cougars in pointy boots were dancing erratically on the roof of your house? (Actually, the visual of ladies up on my roof is quite comical.) It was seriously like a frat-party hosted at a retirement home. I wasn't drinking that night so that didn’t help matters either. Regardless, the half hour I lost from visiting QUA was just given back with this Yelp review. I hope you find it as entertaining as I did.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

You keep moving but where are you going?

Seriously? 28? Where did 27 go?! Is this the part in life where someone has pushed the fast forward button and before you know it, you are 64 years old and reminicing about "the good ole days"? I'm not ready for the fast forward button!

I suppose if you look back on everything that has happened this last year, it seems like it was a pretty signigicant year. One best friend got married, another moved to Chicago, I moved to Texas......wait, I MOVED TO TEXAS?! Holy es word. To be completely honest, it still doesn't feel real. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I live in Suburbia, TX, not Austin, TX. (No, Suburbia isn't a real city.)

All of that is about to change. I've started searching for my own place and I couldn't be more happy/scared shitless about it. What is there to be scared about? Oh, only the fact that I don't have a lease and don't really own anything besides clothes and a TV. Everything I own fits in my car. I can technically just pack up my car in a few hours and just jump in my car and move home if I want to. Getting my own place means signing a lease and purchasing furniture, putting down some roots.

When did I become so scared of putting down roots? I was always the girl who wanted to put down roots; who's goals and dreams were built off of roots. Those dreams have up and passed right by me, leaving me to figure out new dreams and goals. As of now, I have NO IDEA what I want, where I want to be, who I want to be, how I want to's all up in the air and it's like I'm looking up waiting for it all to fall into place.

"Be patient. Until you are content with how life is right now, nothing else will change." Guess I have no other choice than to get content with how life is right I'm putting down roots. Oh life, I don't know that I'll ever understand you.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Saturday, February 5, 2011

speak now....

....or forever hold your peace. Seriously, I'm ready to throw in the towel.