Tuesday, February 15, 2011

You keep moving but where are you going?

Seriously? 28? Where did 27 go?! Is this the part in life where someone has pushed the fast forward button and before you know it, you are 64 years old and reminicing about "the good ole days"? I'm not ready for the fast forward button!

I suppose if you look back on everything that has happened this last year, it seems like it was a pretty signigicant year. One best friend got married, another moved to Chicago, I moved to Texas......wait, I MOVED TO TEXAS?! Holy es word. To be completely honest, it still doesn't feel real. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I live in Suburbia, TX, not Austin, TX. (No, Suburbia isn't a real city.)

All of that is about to change. I've started searching for my own place and I couldn't be more happy/scared shitless about it. What is there to be scared about? Oh, only the fact that I don't have a lease and don't really own anything besides clothes and a TV. Everything I own fits in my car. I can technically just pack up my car in a few hours and just jump in my car and move home if I want to. Getting my own place means signing a lease and purchasing furniture, putting down some roots.

When did I become so scared of putting down roots? I was always the girl who wanted to put down roots; who's goals and dreams were built off of roots. Those dreams have up and passed right by me, leaving me to figure out new dreams and goals. As of now, I have NO IDEA what I want, where I want to be, who I want to be, how I want to live....it's all up in the air and it's like I'm looking up waiting for it all to fall into place.

"Be patient. Until you are content with how life is right now, nothing else will change." Guess I have no other choice than to get content with how life is right now.....so I'm putting down roots. Oh life, I don't know that I'll ever understand you.

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