Look at this f*@%ing hipster

If you don't know who The Sassy Gay Friend is, please YouTube him. Now. In an email conversation with Kylee, I was asking her for some advice on how to deal with a friend who has a serious obsession. This was her response.

"She needs a Sassy Gay Friend.

'This is kooks-de-luke*. She’s about to hop a flight and get the clap from disgusting musician Con Slayer*. This fate could have been avoided IF she had a sassy gay friend.'


SGF: 'What are you doing? What, what, what are you doing?'

KDL: 'Con Slayer* loves me, I know he does.'

SGF: 'So we exploit ourselves? EXPLOIT OURSELVES?!” He claimed to love Shmessica Schmimpson* too, did you revisit that gem in his closet?'

KDL: 'I have to go to him. I know he wants me.'

SGF: 'Sweetie, he fooled around with you in a seedy hotel room and he didn’t call you back. Then he had you physically removed from his presence. Are we seeing a pattern here?'

KDL: 'But sassy gay friend, how will I ever go on?'

SGF: 'You’re gonna smoke a bowl about it on your patio and MOVE ON! I can’t believe you wanted to be the inspiration for ‘Your Body Is A Wonderland’. You’re such a stupid bitch *into the camera* she’s a stupid bitch.'

*names have been changed to protect the identity of the crazy person, the musician, and the girl he supposedly loved.

Why she doesn't move here and complete my life is beyond me.