As y'all can tell, I started this post yesterday but I've decided to finish it today. I take back what I said above. Not the part about me being excited for the release of Come Around Sundown; The part where I said I wasn't in love. I am.
I listened to this album for the better portion of yesterday's 9 1/2 hour work day. Once I was finished working, all I wanted to do was keep listening. I even woke up at 5 AM this morning and this album was the first thought that came to mind. Well, that and my crazy and dreamy dream I had.
The song that initially got me excited about this album is called "Back Down South". The only version I had heard prior to yesterday was the live version. I was so excited to see what they would do with it on the album. While it sounds a bit different from the live version, I still love it. It probably has much to do with my curiosity and fascination of the South.
Speaking of my fascination of the South, Austin is coming along slowly yet surely. Moving has really shed some light on some things. Light on myself, on my friends, and on my family.
As far as what I've realized about myself, as much as I hate to admit it, I want instant gratification. The hard thing is that the goals that I have set for myself do not allow for that. I want a house, a rocking body, and love. All of these things take time and it's driving me BANANAS. Sure, I could probably buy a house right now but the way that I want to furnish and decorate it isn't exactly cheap. Sadly, girls got expensive taste. The rocking body part can't happen overnight either. Sure, I could go inject myself with some pregnancy hormones and easily drop the weight within weeks but eating 500 calories a day doesn't really seem like fun to me. And don't get me started on the love part. The way things are right now, I've given up on it. Maybe you really do have to just settle and be content. There is no such thing as a fairytale. That's hard to swallow when you've grown up a hopeless romantic.
I've had to sit down and come up with a realistic timeline. That has probably been the biggest challenge thus far. I never realized how impatient I am. Austin has really made me sit back and breath. I've decided that at the age of 30, I'm going to buy a house. That gives me a little over two years to build up a nest egg for new furniture and a down payment. Of course I've already started my search and have fallen in love with a couple of houses but who knows what this next two years will bring.
I think when I moved down here, I expected THE South. The wrap-around porches, the gentlemen that call every female "ma'am", jazz music, swamps, frogs and bugs. Yes, the south is a world of it's own as is Austin but it's just....different. I think I expected something out of the movies and books I've read and it's nothing like that. I tried not to have any expectations moving down here but I fought with it in the back of my head. Maybe Austin isn't enough. Sure, it has taught me some things about myself but I'm not satisfied. Here's that instant gratification again. I've only been here 5 weeks.
Patience Heather. Patience.
I bet I'm worse on the instant gratification. My timeline is about 5 minutes. I really don't see myself following through on...anything. Only when I'm laying in bed and there's NOTHING else to do is when I'm able to start "thinking" long term. Come morning, it's time to start appeasing my impulses once again.
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