New, new, new!!!!

New is a weird looking word. So is weird. ANYWAY, that wasn't the point. My point was to tell you that Stef and I have started a new blog. It's about us getting hot. It's pretty much hilarious already and we've both only posted once. Go HERE to check it out. And click on an ad while you are at it. We'll need it to buy junk food and or beer to make up for all the exercise we plan on doing. We are funnier when we drink beer anyway.

Look at this f$*@ing hipster.....

Kylee: Fuck. My tailbone is gonna fall out.

Me: Not possible.

Kylee: Ripley better fucking believe it ok.

Can we go back to when girls had cooties?

Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away, there was a girl and a boy that loved each other from the time they rode bikes, played Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and played hide and seek together. He even let her play in his fort which we all know is usually off limits to girls. I mean, girls have cooties and bringing a female into such a sacred manly space would throw the Earth off it's rotation. The years went by, the boy and girl lost touch and went their separate ways. Fast forward oh, fifteen years and bring that boy and girl back into one anothers lives when girls no longer have cooties but boobies instead, add some firework sparks, years of wondering about the other, and of course adult beverages and what you have is a recipe for disaster...or love. Whichever way you want to look at it.

Unfortunate thing that is also in this recipe is an engagement and a marriage to other people. Strangers compared to the history of these two. Everything happens for a reason and you justify the reason you two aren't together because of it. You hug, walk out of each others lives once again, significant others in tow. Two months later said marriage and engagement are both over, one by a tragic death and the other by a tragic douche bag. Can douche bags be described as tragic? I don't know. You find yourself replaying that day you two met after years of not seeing each other and the words "everything happens for a reason" echo in your head over and over and over until you literally drive yourself crazy.

Finally it seems the stars have aligned just for you and things start progressing. Dreams are being shared and planned, hopes, fears, secrets, everything is being laid on the table. Suddenly, you find yourself actually relating to Celine Dion's "The Power of Love" or Meatloaf's "I Would Do Anything For Love"...wait...I don't think anyone can relate to that song. What the hell is it that he won't do for love? Lindsey has some ideas. You can read them here. Anyway, it's like all this time you just thought it was some song like all the other love songs. People didn't really feel that way. They wrote that shit for the movies and everything in the movies is exaggerated to really help capture the audience. You are on cloud nine. Anything at this point is possible. I felt like Cinda-fucking-rella, singing birds that helped me get dressed in the morning and all! I completely and 100% gave my heart to this man.

Then....he took my heart that I'd just given him, put it down the disposal and rinsed it away with hot water. I can feel George Michaels' pain whenever I hear Last Christmas. How could I have been so dumb to believe what he was saying was reality, that he was my Prince Charming and that he was going to ride up on this white Stallion (or Harley) at any second and we'd ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after? How could I have trusted my own heart and feelings and truly believed in what we were doing/feeling/saying? I had THE hardest time getting over the reality of it all. I mean, this was years of history. It was SUPPOSED to happen this way, right? RIGHT?!?!

It's taken a good year to finally see the big picture and really know that everything does happen for a reason. I may not know the reason today or tomorrow or even next year but I have to have faith that it happened for the better. And whatever happens in the future is what is supposed to happen. Que sera, sera.

A few nights ago I was sitting in my apartment just messing around on the computer and a certain someone started chatting with me, which led to him asking me for my number. My heart fell to my stomach and then jumped into my throat and I wasn't sure what to feel. I mean, I'd for sure have to be drunk to handle an actual conversation for the first time with this person. He's lived in my thoughts for so long that I'm sure I've distorted the true him to the point of nonrecognition. What would I say? Would I stick up for myself? Would I be angry with him? WHAT DO I DO?

It seems like that vicious cycle of coming back into my life is trying to take off again but I am the one in control now. I've got the confidence I need to make the right decision for myself but the way that my heart is wired to my brain is so fucked up, it could burn a house down...if my wiring were that of a house. Sort of like my apartment. I plug something in on one end of the room and this in turn causes the things on the opposite side of the room to turn off. That's what you get when you are living in a house built in 1911. You know what else you get? A shock in the shower with water so cold it could prevent boners for at least a week. I'm getting off subject.

I guess what I'm going to do is the same thing I do about my apartment, just ignore how the wiring is messed up and go on about my day. If it burns down, it happened for a reason. :)

Day Maker!

Original:



New and improved:

Happy Birthday to me!

I've been dreading this day for weeks, maybe even months. It's my 27th birthday. I'm not even sure why I was dreading it. I guess it's because 27 sounds so....old. Maybe old is the wrong word. Grown up. That sounds better. What's so wrong with being a grown up? Nothing at all. I wake up when I want, I go to bed when I want, I book flights to wherever I want, whenever I want (or can afford to). I think I was focusing so much on being old in not realizing that yes, in Utah years that is like 40 to the rest of the world, but I don't lead the typical "Utah life" meaning I'm not married, haven't been married, have no children. Most of the people my age are married with children, divorced with children, or even on their second marriages with children. Maybe children and a husband is my definition of grown up. Who knows. All I know is that I've dreaded this day for quite awhile and now that it's here, I feel nothing but blessed. Blessed that I've been lucky enough to have a great family behind me for the last 27 years, a sister I can call my best friend for the last 22 years, best friends like Stef, Mike, Christina, and Reggie (just to name a few) that are still in my life after meeting when we were just 3 or Tricia who's been there pretty much my whole life. I'm so lucky to be where I'm at today. Thank you to everyone who has enriched these 27 years. Here's to 27 more! :)

To help celebrate my day I'm including some songs that have been my favorites over the years...

Maybe this will explain what a bad ass little kid I was. My favorite song from 1987..


When I was in second grade, my Mom won me tickets to see these dreamy guys and I wore a hot pink, green, and yellow skirt and probably permanently damaged my vocal chords screaming.



Instead of posting all of the videos I've planned, I'll just list them here.

Paula Abdul- Rush, Rush. I loved this video because of the whole 50's car race.

And for the awkward teenage years, Desi'ree's "You Gotta Be" and Dave Matthew's "Crash (Into Me)" were on repeat. Let's not forget about Incubus. Oh hey! It's Brandon Boyd's birthday today too.



My early twenties were filled with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Coheed and Cambria, Avril Lavigne (don't worry, for my 22nd birthday I wore the whole tie, Dickies and Chucks...haha!)and other crap-tastic pop punk like Mest and Blink 182.

Man, after this post, I'm glad I'm all grown up. :)

I'll end with a song I plan on drinking a grown up beverage with my little sister to. She's always there for me, even if it's waking her up in the middle of the night to talk...because some things just can't wait.

Birthday schmirthday

With my birthday coming up, I've been thinking about what I've accomplished in my whole....this is hard to say....how can I yell by typing?...27 years on this planet and I came across this website today.

http://whathappenedinmybirthyear.com/

Coinsidence? I think not. While it's fun to see what was happening in the world when you came into it, it sort of asks you some questions that are just the sort of questions I've asked myself lately.

Weird.

Look at this fu$#@*g hipster....

Kylee: It's not like not drinking makes you a better person. Jesus drank wine ok? I'm not going to disrespect him by acting like drinking is bad. haha.

Me: Yeah, just because you eat broccoli and tofu and drink non-alcoholic beverages, that doesn't make you better than Jesus.

Kylee: Jesus is larger than life ok?

And so it begins.....

....back on another quest to get skinny and physically fit(AGAIN!). I went on this quest last year starting in January and I kicked ass, I'm not gonna lie. Then summer happened. Vacations, going out, eating out, beer, Jake, moving, life. I just use all that as an excuse but it was pure laziness if I'm being honest with myself.

For Christmas, Waish (AKA KP, Matt, Kung Pao) got me the Nike Sportband. I am ashamed to say I've had this bad boy for 2 months now and today is the first time I've used it. I've had every intention of using it earlier but that's when the laziness came into play. It's so awesome because Nike has online coaches availiable to help you train and work out, challenges to keep yourself motivated, and they help you keep on target and set goals for yourself. It's very motivating and I can't wait to track my progress.

Yesterday, Christina was gracious enough to take me shoe shopping. I've been working out in trail runners that I bought to play kickball in. Needless to say, they weren't the best workout shoes. While playing with them this morning before the gym, I found out they have a spot in the insole to put the chip to my Sportband inside! SCORE!

I'd really love to run the Salt Lake City marathon this year, the half of course, but it's in April and I'm afraid I'm too late to start training. 13.1 miles is a long way. I can't even run three miles now and want to live to see tomorrow. We shall see though. Hopefully come April, 13.1 miles will sound like a walk in the park.

Cross your fingers....maybe your toes too.

What I learned today....

Today, I learned that I can clean the SHIT out of someone's house in (hold on, I have to measure....) 4" blue snake skin heels and slacks, Rainbow vacuums can and WILL suck up anything you put in its way, I have the patience of Mother Theresa, and I'm 80. I was ready for bed at 8. I thought I was badass because I worked an 8 hour day and then went and cleaned a house. I couldn't imagine having a family and kids to deal with after. Even Sailor is at my Mom's tonight and that is a relief. Go ahead and judge me because I'm judging myself.