Scenes from my life

Actual conversation between me and boyfriend:

Me: Baby, can I make you an egg nog?

Boyfriend: Mmmmm....no, I think I'm ok. Thank you though.

Me: Are you sure? Maybe just a small one?

Boyfriend: Nah.

Me: Just a small one. It won't be that big.

Boyfriend: It's ok.

Me: Are you sure?

**pause**

Boyfriend: Ok, sure.

Me: Are you sure? You don't have to have one if you don't want one.

**Complete awkward silence** (Also, I haven't been able to put into words the look he gave me)

You guys, girls are crazy. Bat shit, Congress-bridge-filled-with-bat-shit crazy. Why did I just talk him into an eggnog and then try and talk him out of one? I don't even get me.

CUT TO COMMERCIAL!!!

Can we talk about how many commercials have caught me by the ear in this last little bit? Whoever is in advertising right now is a serious music fan because I'm LOVING the things I'm hearing. Do you recognize these songs?

Kardashian Kraziness

First of all, let's talk about how annoying that title is. Second, let's talk about how annoying my addiction to trashy TV is. In my defense, even boyfriend has been caught up in this fuckery we call the Kardashian family. We find ourselves watching their 18 shows on E! and commenting on what assholes they are and then reality sets in and we find ourselves questioning who we are as people for finding enjoyment in the show in the first place.

This week, I learned how to fishtail braid my hair AND went to Sears and secretly checked out the Kardashian Kollection. I'm such a Kardashian now.....except for the whole being a millionaire for doing nothing and effing ball players all the days.

Basically the only thing that makes me a Kardashian is the fishtail thing. So....I guess that doesn't really qualify as anything. Still. I'm pretty stoked on my skills.

Next up is finding the cahones to pull off that hot pink or bright red lipstick. Hhhhhhh.

I'm Just Sayin' That You Could Do Bettah.

Is it me or does this song sound a little like the Peter Gabriel song featured on the City of Angels soundtrack? Oh yeah, I haven't heard it either....ehem. No but for real. It reminds me of that song. You guys! I'm obsessed with this CD!! I don't know that I've ever mentioned this before but I have THE most awesome sister in the entire world. She sent me this album yesterday and I can't stop listening! I stay logged on at work just so I can listen to this song. (Holla for overtime!) Boyf is a hater of Drake because of his Sprite commercial so I've been sparing him but I don't know how long I'll be that nice. I'm sure if he listened to it he'd be as much in love with it.

I've actually learned quite a bit about boyfriend these past two weeks. I've known him for over a year but am still learning things about him. He enjoys window shopping! Do you know how huge that is for me? He likes looking at furniture! It's amazing and I love it. Tonight he just admitted that he likes Rihanna. I've been hiding my passion for Rihanna but now I'm FREE!! I haven't been able to stop listening to "We Found Love" for the last two weeks. I turn into this guy whenever it's on, no joke:

I have a weird question. I'm not expecting an answer. I think I might just need to say it out loud. (Or type it because I don't actually speak while blogging. Maybe I should?) Do you think you've escaped the past? Are you fully content with everything that has come and gone? Is it weird that I'm not or is it a normal thing to have these feelings? Maybe it's just Christmas time and I'm getting too sentimental. It's just that sometimes I can let my mind wander into the 'what ifs' of my life and I really don't appreciate it.

Don't get me wrong. I know that everything that I've experienced and gone through up until this point has got me to where I am. I am so happy to be able to say that I live in Austin. I've stepped out of any comfort zone I could ever even imagine that I had and tried something new and made a new life for myself. I've made friends and I've made enemies. Had things "worked out" I would probably be a fatty living in Price, UT with 5 kids. Or dealing with a bipolar baby momma with all sorts of drama. Or maybe in some other tiny ass town living a life that isn't me. It's just that sometimes I wonder if the life I'm living now is where I should be. 

Do y'all have these feelings ever?