Laziest Day in History

It's 3:45 PM and I'm still in bed. All I've gotten up for is cereal, to let Sailor out, and to get a beer. I've literally spent all day in bed. It. Is. Amazing. Who am I? I went to the Coheed show last night so I took a vacation day.

I'm literally in a sea of music. A friend sent me 1,312 songs via the postal service so I've been sifting through it all and trying to decide what to send back. I HAVE SO MUCH MUSIC!! All these songs I've gone through today have taken me back. Let me just tell you what an emotional rollercoaster today has been. I've cried, I've laughed, I've wondered what the fuck I was thinking liking his guy or that guy, why did I buy that CD, and the titles to some of these mixed CDs....wow! Here's some of the gems:

Lawn Dart Express, Bizzle Beats, The Mutha Fuckin' Shoes Experience, The Pooter Experience, The Rationality of the Lareness, Jesus Remix.

It's safe to say my sister and I are not normal, but damn it, we've got good taste in music.

All this laying around has really given me time to think. Think about life, where I'm going, what I want. I wish life were that simple that you could figure it out in one afternoon of musical oasis under the covers but it's not. I know I want and need a change. I'm comfortable and it's boring me. I have the same routine, day in, day out, week by boring week. I'm ready for the next big thing to enter stage right and change the scene. I feel like everyone around me is living life and I'm just sitting back and waiting for mine to start. I want to be part of the show.

One of my good friends moved to Chicago last week. She's spent most of her live in Utah so moving was a huge change for her. The first night she was there she text me saying she thinks she made a mistake. I know her better than I know myself so I know it's just her fears talking. I reassure her that this is an exciting change for her and she needs to live it up. As the words are coming out, it's like I'm looking in a mirror. I need to get out of my comfort zone and just let the changes happen around me and embrace them, let them mold me. Every thing I'm saying to her, I should be saying to myself.

Is moving out of state that change I need? I'm not sure. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. If it is, where would I go? I'm pretty lucky with my job. I can get a job ANYWHERE. City, rural, literally anywhere. I love San Diego. Love, love, love San Diego but my chances of ever owning a home there are slim to none. Denver? It's pretty much a cooler Salt Lake City and it's close enough that I could drive home if I needed/wanted. What about Chicago? Too cold. My dog would probably drown himself in the river the first chance he got. What about just getting a map out and moving somewhere I've never even been? That's got to be life changing. That would truly test who I am and what I'm capable of.

Then there is my dating routine. Yes, even my dating life is a routine. I have dinner every now and again with "Fuckin' Brian", dead end. Motorcycle rides with Tony, dead end. 2 AM phone calls with Jake, dead end. Seriously, I've dated every "type" out there. I've put myself into some awkward situations, online dating, being set up. WHERE IS HE? The problem is I date people I don't like. Either they are shit shows or just not right for me. Why do I do this? Maybe because it's comfortable. I know it will fail anyway so I just go with it until it self destructs Family dinners consist of questions like "Gee Heather, when are you going to meet someone and settle down?" Or comments like, "Yeah, there's got to be something wrong with her. She's 30 and never been married." And I'll reply with, "Well, I'm 27 and haven't been married. Is there something wrong with me?" Then it's like crickets in the room. Nobody can reply.

Can somebody just come in while I lay in state and fix my life? Thank you.