To Whom It May Concern:

It has come to my attention that I'm a "vulture" that has swooped down and distracted some body's ex who is still "VERY MUCH IN LOVE WITH HER". The caps really help the emphasis. I REALLY GET IT NOW. THANK YOU. I hate to put you in the middle here but that's exactly where you belong.

Had this gone down a year, even six months ago, I would have probably gone out of my way to make it known that it wasn't me in fact who sought you out or asked you back into my life. It wasn't me who shut you out in order to make a new life for myself and then 10 months later come crawling back because "I'm the only person who really knows you". Maybe that was just something good to say at the time. Maybe not. I'm the only one you were able to tell about all of your adulterous sexual conquests while you were married to, I was the only one you cried to, told your fears to, your deepest darkest secrets to for a number of years. Maybe you've let her in that very same way now too. Maybe she knows more secrets than I do now. Perhaps you told her of your sexual conquests while we were together? Lord knows you didn't have the balls to confess them yourself to me.

Had this all gone down before I learned to love myself, really love myself, you bet your sweet ass I would be as psycho as she is being, airing out her dirty laundry wherever she can. I remember being that girl. Using MySpace as a way to stick my middle finger right in peoples faces. But I've grown up. I was 22. Do you know how many lifetimes ago 22 was? She's 32 and she's where I was when I was 22. I'm not saying I'm better than her in any way. I'm just saying she's maybe got some growing up to do.

Insecurity is an ugly, ugly thing. It's poison. A poison that I'm allergic to. I can't have it in my life. It's crippling. I'm sure I'm missing part of the picture. The part where you are with her, the part where you talk to her. All I see is when you talk to me. All I see is when you tell me how she has brought out the worst in you. I see your anger and it scares me. It honestly scares me. The you I know isn't violent. You were always so passive. That's probably how you dealt with my Mexican/Italian temper for so long. Whenever I tell people the change in you they are so shocked. To read how those two cackling hags talked about me and talked about you was a joke. "I've never seen him like this with anyone. Don't let an ex that is trying to win him back bother you. You two belong together, blah, blah, blah." It was the most juvenile display of frenemies I've seen since my teenage years.

I was very upset on Friday. Very upset. So upset I cried. AT WORK. I don't cry and I sure as hell don't do it at work. I was pissed off and sad. Sad because I've done nothing wrong here. It takes two people to fuck up a relationship. It's not like you were this poor unfortunate soul who was tortured for all those years by being with me. It wasn't like that for me either. It didn't work out. We grew apart. Say whatever makes you feel better about the situation but it went down in flames. It happens. It doesn't mean you can't go back and be friends after the smoke has cleared. That's what adults do.

If us getting back together is what everyone is getting their feathers up about, you can reassure them that is not the case. Hell, let them read this. I have no intentions in being your partner again whatsoever. That book was closed and returned to the library long ago. The lessons were learned and tested on. I aced them. But just because I don't want to be with you, doesn't mean we can't be friends. We were a part of each others lives for quite some time. I want nothing more than to see you so happy you have butterflies and glittery unicorn farts coming out of your ass and I hope that you want the same for me.

I'm not even sure what this letter is supposed to accomplish if anything other than letting you know my feelings on the subject. You surely didn't want to talk about it the other night. Running from your fears isn't going to make them go away. It will only make it worse. Learning to face your fears is one of the most beautiful lessons in life I've learned and am still learning. I hope you get to experience it soon.

I'm not going to "circle around like a vulture" and try to be your friend. You know my number, you know where I live. I hope you start to weed out the poison in your life. It's hard. Trust me, I did it. Some of my closest friends were shut out; friends I grew up side by side with but it had to happen. Not just for me but for them too. That was probably the hardest advice to take but it was given to me by a stellar person who knew what they were talking about. Be true to yourself. You may lose some people in your life but you'd be amazed at the weight that it lifts off of your shoulders.