Ramblings of a delirious girl

Let me just preface by saying I apologize for any type-os or anything you may or may not understand. I'm sleep deprived and stressed out. My little baby baloobie AKA Sailor is sick. So sick in fact, he kept me up most of last night. I literally just laid by him and cried last night because I'm so sad that he was in such pain and so scared because I feel helpless. Now that he has drugs in him, this is the scene:



All he does is sleep. And wag his tail. He wags his tail in his sleep. Creepy yet adorable. I'm waiting to hear back on his blood/stool tests. I should hear tomorrow. I can't help but think the worst. He's 6. He's been SO healthy the whole time I've had him. What if it's something serious? This happened back in January too but it wasn't this bad.

If something serious is wrong I don't know how I will handle it. I feel like everything I've known and felt like has been my rock is changing. Sailor is sick, I haven't seen H in SO long since he's working in Vegas, C is moving to Chicago on May 1st, I've lost my BFF to life. I'm an Aquarian. I like change but this, it's all a bit much!!

I've always felt so lucky to have people there when I just need someone there. Not even for anything just simply to answer my call or call me when I'm feeling extra lonely. I feel like I've lost that. I've been reaching out for the last couple of weeks but it seems like everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives that it's like I'm non-existent. I feel like everywhere I turn it's a dead end. I understand. Everyone has lives. But what happens when C moves? What happens when C gets married? What happens if something horrible happens to Sailor? Where do I turn?

Has anyone else felt this way or am I just being a baby?

On a side note, I cannot stop listening to this song. I can't WAIT to see them May 10th. Pretty sure it'll be epic.


"I'd give you everything if only I'd known you'd take it, but you don't, cause you're you. That's why I'll always love you."

Also, this song is amazing.



I think I just found my answer. I always have music to turn to. Always.